Monday, 03 July, 2023

Al-Shughar marriage

Nadia (a pseudonym) is a 26-year-old girl from a village in Sharaab district, Taiz governorate. Her father had a psychotic disorder before he passed away when she was 15 years old.

The father's illness had severe effects on Nadia, and symptoms of mental illness started to appear in her while she was in the early stages of her youth. Her father was dealing with her harshly and very badly; using beating, hurtful words, cursing, and humiliation as a method and behavior to deal with her, to an intolerable and unbearable extent.

Days passed, and her mother decided to make her marry her cousin when she was eighteen years old.  They got married in a way called ( Shughar marriage). Shughar or so-called minor marriage is basically that a man accept to marry his guardian(daughter or sister )to a man, on the condition that the other man does the same back to him with no dowry exchange between the two men.

One of the disastrous consequences of this forced marriage is that Nadia's husband (her cousin) did not accept her because she did not possess the beauty traits he wanted, rather he was forced to marry her because of kinship.  He stayed with her for a period that did not exceed a few days. He used to escape from her, and his family often tried to return him to her. But he would come back and then leave her again. In his last escape, Nadia was pregnant , and this escape was not like the previous ones. Her husband traveled and left home without coming back. Nadia stayed in her husband’s house, feeling sad for her husband’s absence and his neglect of her, on one hand, and on the other hand, her mother-in-law who used to deal with her as a maid and used force Nadia to carry out all the hard and exhausting work.

Nadia gave birth to her fetus, which gave her hope that this child might be a reason and motivation for his father to return to them, and while Nadia was living this hope, she was surprised by her divorce decree. This divorce was very shocking to her, which made her cry for several days without stopping, grieving for her patience and endurance, hoping for him to return, and feeling very afraid of what awaits her in her father's house. Not only did her husband do that, but he forcibly took her child away from her, and she returned to her family's home broken and sad.

There was no solution left for Nadia to manage her life affairs after the divorce, and the harsh treatment by her family, made her ask for her share of the inheritance so that she can manage the difficult and oppressive conditions of life.

But she received another shock, that was when her request was met with a complete rejection by her brothers and her mother, who made it clear to her that she have no  right to inheritance, based on the prevailing view among some Yemeni villages that daughters are inherited and do not inherit.

Nadia was unable to bear all these shocks. She became very tired and defeated by the harshness of life. She became unable to sleep, withdrawn, nervous, confused while talking, always crying, and she was constantly trying to escape.

Her mother could not bear Nadia's bad condition, so she imprisoned her and locked her in a room next to the house, after chaining her. She was left with nothing but loneliness, and the darkness that surrounds her from every side.

Her mother used to throw food and water at her, just like the case of cattle or animals, No care, no mercy, no consideration.

This brutal treatment of her family made her aggressive and she started smashing and breaking everything, she could reach inside that room. Because the room she was in was close to her uncle's house, who was also the father of her ex-husband, they could hear her laughing and crying, screaming and talking to herself. Then, when they noticed that her voice became audible in the neighborhood, her uncle came and beat her severely, to the extent that he pulled her nails from her fingers relentlessly, with a heart devoid of feelings and completely devoid of humanity.

Nadia remained confined, chained, and neglected in that room until one of her brothers returned from a foreign land. Although news of her illness reached him, he was not aware of what his brothers and his mother had done to his sister. When he returned and saw her in that miserable and tragic situation, he took her to Taiz city, looking for a doctor to treat her. One of the neighbors directed him to the MHPSS Center of the Psychiatric Care Developmental Foundation.

The psychologist says: "The patient arrived at the center in a very difficult condition of unspeakable cruelty. She arrived while she could not walk, but was jumping. As her hands and feet were locked with shackles, which were tightly closed with a lock, the key of which was missing, and we hardly broke the shackles in the center".

Due to the difficulty of her condition, the psychiatrist decided to transfer her to the inpatient department after diagnosing her condition with schizophrenia. In the inpatient department, she was first treated physically, especially her legs, which needed a massage; since the patient became unable to walk, or even enter the bathroom. This was the task of the nurses, according to the treatment plan that was prescribed by the psychiatrist, who followed up on her condition from the moment she entered until she left the center, through periodic visits to the inpatient department.

After she improved physically, psychological sessions were started, by relying on a number of techniques, including emotional venting for her through the technique of free association. Then moving on to cognitive-behavioral therapy, by raising her self-esteem and focusing on the advantages she has, in order to look at life around her in a positive way. Not to mention teaching her skills that help her to face life, which included adapting to pressure and solving problems skills.

Family counseling sessions were also held to create a suitable family atmosphere for the patient, and intensive sessions were held with some of her siblings. Also, the sessions with her mother were intensified, since she was very harsh with Nadia. After conducting the family awareness and intensive sessions, a room was prepared in her brother's house in Taiz city, who took care of her as soon as she left the center.

After three months of intensive care in the inpatient department, treatment, and psychological sessions, Nadia's condition began to stabilize little by little, until she recovered. She returned to the desired normal condition. Moreover, she began to talk with others, discuss rationally, joke with sobriety, and think with poise commensurate with her age and maturity.

Her brother says: "At first, I did not expect that there was a specialized MHPSS center that provides all these free services, but after I saw the efforts that were made to improve my sister’s condition, the attention she received, and the great improvement in her condition, I was very happy because we are in dire need of such centers that are specialized in psychological support. All thanks to the MHPSS Center and the United Nations Population Fund, and I hope that this mighty project will continue".

The psychologist at the MHPSS center says: "Al-Shughar marriage is one of the worst forms of violence against women, and it has bad psychological effects on women in the short and long term. Unfortunately, most families abuse the woman more after her divorce, instead of containing her, many families are not aware of the importance of mental health and do not begin to provide treatment to their girls only when they show symptoms of insanity".

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